How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
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There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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