He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
