I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
