Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
