You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
