Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
