u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
