Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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