I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
