Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize