the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
