I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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