i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
