I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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