"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
