his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
