Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
