Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
