Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
