they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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