are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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