He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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