3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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