One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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