We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
