you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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