You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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