You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
