No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
it's great music for shaving your balls
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
