believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
