Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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