Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
