my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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