grandma shit on top of the toilet
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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