It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
