your thong is hanging out like whoa
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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