So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I showed him my bush... on skype.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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