we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Just cropdusted the office
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
