He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
