nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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