Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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