dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
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