i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize