I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
