I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
