goodnight i made you a song goodbye
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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