Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
