dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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