How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
