oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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