I got her a Nickelback box set.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
What a dumb baby whore.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
