I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize