Where is the hickey?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
