Its about making memories worth repressing
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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