A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
