she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
