so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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