its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
