Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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