just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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