I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
