Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
