I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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