I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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