I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
