whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
